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Stress And Me

October 26, 2020

All my life I have had some stressful encounter i.e. having a mother on drugs; my father was extremely abusive to me, I had the responsibility to take care of my siblings also. Not only was my childhood stressful, but that stress followed me into adulthood too. The way I handled stress remained the same rather I were a child or an adult. When life became too much I just pretended it didn’t happen, I began to in-vision a happier place, but I never seem to deal with the problem. As I grew older, I felt that I could not deal with stressful events without something strange happening to my body. At first, I became really tired, and then the symptoms got worse.

          I noticed that I was loosing control of my life, soon I started having headaches and my body seemed to grow tired. Just when I could not take it anymore the stress and its problems would just leave. I use to wonder what was going on with me.

          Due to the stress, I left my husband of 18 years to start a new life, at first it was really hard, but I had to go. When I was around him I noticed my body would have spasms or shots of pain. When I started having the same childhood feelings I knew I had to do something, because I felt that I would die if I didn’t.

          I noticed that my body would have some odd behaviors. Imagine receiving a phone call that you are in trouble with your parents. Your parents would not tell you what you did, but that you are in big trouble. At first your heart races, and then you begin to panic. Thoughts begin to race through your mind, “What did I do?”

Suddenly, you hear them pull up in the driveway, and your stomach feels as if you are about to vomit. Doesn’t that sound like a horrible ordeal to go through? Well, that’s how I started to feel when I was around my ex-husband.

          As I look back to the stressful times in my life, I noticed that there were signs that I could not SEE. For example, the fight-or-flight response. When I felt stressed out, I felt like I wanted to run, cry, fight, die or something (I could not pinpoint my feelings or emotions).

          When I was 34 years old, I had reached my boiling point with the stress in my life. I went to the doctor to have a physical and the doctor took some routine blood test. A few days later she called and told me she had some concerns about my results. At first, my mind and body had a meltdown. Next, I pulled myself together and went to hear my bad news. The doctor explained to me that I had diabetes. I realized at that point that I had to take care of myself.

Now if I encounter stressful situations I work through them, I exercise at least four days a week and eat a healthy diet. At first, I thought having diabetes was a death sentence, but now I feel having it saved my life. Because I have diabetes I am aware of my health and I make more conscious decisions.

In closing, stress has taken over my life, when stressful events occurred I didn’t deal with them. Eventually my body spoke and I had to listen to it. I developed a serious disease because of my stress, now I take better care of myself because I have to.

*Update* I am no longer diabetic! I am pre-diabetic and look forward to be completely cured by next year!

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